Reclaiming Erotica: an update

So, I had this goal to reclaim some of the erotica that had been spoiled by the unfortunate circumstances of a falling out with a potential lover.

My first try was going to be the book Written on the Body, which is beautifully written and very evocative in its language, while not actually being very smutty.

I picked it up and started reading and then realized that this was not a story I could relate to. The clandestine lovers each have a partner they’re unhappy with and their primary partners each lash out and throw fits about the extra relationship. The paramours react to this anger with a superior sniff as if to say, “Our firey, consuming love transcends these mundane complaints of yours, you dull gray nothings. We shall continue, and to hell with you all.”

Well, that set my teeth on edge for a plethora of reasons, and I chose not to continue with that book.

Meanwhile, Holden has come across a similar problem. He was trying to enjoy some audio recordings of the magnificent Violet Blue reading erotic stories. However, one of the stories was a little too close to situations he had been hoping for in real life and the reminder of the loss of those possibilities spoiled the enjoyment for him. He got quite frustrated that real life situations had ruined what had been a delightful and enriching fantasy for him. So it seems I’m not the only one struggling to reclaim the freedom to be turned on by what actually turns me on the most.

There is an erotic story involving several elements of erotica Holden and I both enjoy (vampires, group sex, dorms/university life) on Literotica.com that Holden has read and wants to share with me. He actually brought it to me almost a year ago when things for the three of us (him, me, and his girlfriend) were still a burgeoning possibility but other projects and things got in the way of my finishing it.  I have read a couple of chapters and enjoyed what I saw. He has said there are some situations later in the story that come close to things that would be sensitive topics now, but it’s one we are going to read together. We’ll see how far we can get and explore our reactions to it.  I’m feeling rather defiant and determined to enjoy this despite the baggage attached, so maybe that defiance will carry me through.

The whole erotica thing is a little bit on the back burner right now as other things take priority, but it’s still in process.

-Grace